Updated: Jun 11, 2020
Sometimes we think things about ourselves that aren't necessarily true. These are called fused thoughts or negative core beliefs. They sound like, "I'm never going to get this right." or "I'm too out of shape to start dating." These thoughts keep us from doing the things we want and cause us to feel down right rotten at times. Think of a time when you felt really effective and positive. Yeah, it doesn't feel like that. We'll use the term fused because its easy to explain.
Imagine you have taken both your hands and covered your eyes. Now spread your fingers just a tiny bit. There! That's it! That's what fused thoughts do to our vision of the world. We can't see the whole picture, only the negative part. No wonder we think the way we do. Now lets move our hands slowly away from our eyes. As you do this, you can see more and more of the big picture along with a lot more good stuff. That's called de-fusion. That's the skill I use to move away from my negative thoughts and take a second look at what's really happening. Now simply identify your fused thought. Mine is "I'm not enough." Now take that thought and sing it to Jingle Bells. That thought isn't quite so powerful anymore. And trust me, I am enough!
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